Annoying Apollo
by Goddess of power33881
Summary: What happens when young Sofronia annoys the Hades out of Apollo. Or as she likes to call him Apple. R&R. Teen cause I'm just fun like that.(I gots to say Apple has abs and *smirks* something a little south of that region*wiggles eyebrows*)
1. HI

**Hi guys, so this is like the first thing I've posted in a while. I'm really bored right now and it's like the start of Thanksgiving break. THANK THE GODS! So now my first one shot since like August. (BTW I deleted everything I owned, in case any of you people who haven't seen my account before are looking for previous work)**

LESSON 1 Do Not Insult Apollo's poetry

"Hi, Apollo," I said in a bright cheery voice.

"Hello Sofronia," he replied in a careful voice.

My brown eyes flashed green like they do when I'm annoyed. _One lesson he needs to learn is that you never use my full name. _"By the way, I've been meaning to talk to someone about a poetry contest I'm planning on entering," I told him in that same overly happy voice.

His clean shaven face brightened, instantly. "Poetry, what a beautiful topic,

Poetry is

A beautiful art form

used by you and me"

"Oh Apollo I also had another question for you," I said excitement creeping into my voice.

"Yes my dear child, what is it?" he said a distant look on his face.

"Why do your haikus suck so badly?" I practically shouted in pure craziness.

"EXCUSE ME?" he bellowed.

I swear the sky actually went dark. He raised his tall hunter's bow. He hooked an arrow onto the bow string and pulled back the arrow pointing staight for my heart. Right then and there, I ran as fast as my thin little walking sticks could take me.

LESSON 2 Do Not Under Any Circumstances Steal His Sun Car (IT WOULD BE EASIER TO ROB A FRICKIN BANK)

My heart pounded as the elevator binged 600th floor.

"Oh gods," I said under my breath. I turned around to face my best friend, Andromeda- she'll kill you if you don't call her Rea. "Do I really have to do this?" I whispered.

She giggled, showing her perfectly white teeth. Her head bobbed up and in down in response to my question.

"_Di imortales, _remind me never to take you to a bar when we're older." I whispered.

She smiled as we walked out of the metal deathbox (did I mention I have a slight fear of heights? No, oh well that's another story for another time to quote winnie the pooh). I slowly crossed the cloud like ground that covered all of Olympus. I walked through the revolving doors that led to Apollo's temple.

My heart beat sped up as I saw the legendary fiery convertible. I leaped into the leather seat and pluck the keys from the sun visor which of course in my sucky life triggered an alarm.

Apollo himself came out in get this, unicorn boxers and a vest. Of course his giant bow with a notched arrow pointed straight for my heart ( woah de ja vu moment here) really set of the look.

Rea and I ran as fast as we could. She had longer legs than me but when I wanted to I could beat her and trust me right now I really wanted to get to the deathbox before her.

I climbed into the elevator, gulped in a few breaths and burst out laughing. I mean unicorn boxers that's pretty funny.

**Okay so I am having way to much fun with this plot so this will not be a one shot after all. I'm going to catch up on some much needed sleep. I'll update , night, sweet dreams, and all that.**


	2. Apples are good

LESSON 3 Never Give Him a Nickname(in fact don't give nicknames to any of the gods they're too narrow-minded to accept them)

"Apple, my bro, my homie, the guy who puts the groove in groovy" I screamed at the back of Apple's/Apollo's head.

He whipped his head around. "Are you talking to me?" he asked in a semi-angry way, eyeing his bow and the sheath of arrows lying next to it.

"Oh Apple, you rebel, you, there's no need for violence just hear me out I have new nicknames for all the gods, Zeus is squash, he reminds me of squash what with his head and all, Poseidon is seaweed for obvious reasons, Hades is pomegranate, pomegranate being the fruit of death and all that, Hera can be a poison apple because she reminds me of the witch from snow-white, and you of course are just a regular apple." I said in a matter of fact tone.

Suddenly Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, and Hera appeared in front of us. Or should I say, suddenly Squash, Seaweed, Pomegranate, and Poison Apple appeared in front of us.

"Are you insane?" Squash bellowed practically radiating rage.

"Why the hell am I a poison apple? I'm the goddess of childbirth and marriage. I'm a fricking princess when it comes to kindness." Poison Apple screamed at the top of her lungs.

Squash, Seaweed, Pomegranate, Apple, and I all started to cough dramatically. She whipped her head around and glared at us. Her face contorted in rage and she took in a deep breath ready to scream at us when Seaweed wisely asked "Why are we the only gods who have nicknames?"

"Oh Seaweed you noticed that too, well I do have other nicknames for other gods but seeing how you all reacted here today I'll just email them to you" I said already getting in a runners' stance.

"May I do the honors?" Apple asked. Reading his bow and notching an arrow.

"Hasta luego**(you may thank spanish 1 for this sagely expression)**" I screamed.

And insert de ja vu moment here I ran as fast as my little chicken legs could take me.

THE EMAIL

Zeus:Squash

Poseidon:Seaweed

Hades:Pomegranate

Hera: Poison Apple

Apollo:Apple

Artemis:Forbidden Fruit(cause she's forbidden hear that boys can't touch this na na na na na)

Aphrodite:Passion Fruit(get it passion fru... never mind)

Athena:Mango( look up Hindu myths golden mango)

Dionysus:Grapes(wine=grapes)

YOU PEOPLE COME UP WITH THE REST I'LL POST THEM IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

**Okay I realize this chapter is short but I have a lot of homework FUDGE YOU Florida Virtual Spanish and math teacher cause somehow you're meant to show work during algebra. *sobs* Okay so my chapters will be shorter and I'll be posting less often so yeah Hasta luego mis amiguitos amarillos(I just watched pink panther 2 for the millionth time and finished learning about colors in Spanish yay me!)**


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